I got my first white hair at the age of 19 . I used to have a strand of white eye brown hair but novwhite hair. The strand of white hair shows the stress i have undergone recently since i entered army. I realised i had been getting more and more stress up recently ever since i got into SISPEC. Probably i not adapting well to the environemnt i in and my interpersonal skills had led me down .

Today had a nice italian meal at my qunt house . today is her birthday! my appetite has not been good recently . Not sure why but is like i eating lesser and lesser. I miss the time I had being a student for the past 10 years. throught the 10 years i met with many obstacles many disappointment , choices hard to make . nevertheless in the 10 years span as a student i have many fond memories .

I am sure i have grown up . At least more grown up then i used to be .

Now i still searching for my dream. What do i really want to acheive in my life .
By the way i have been procristinating for the last few days. That not a good sign.Friends , teachers and family are people that plays an important role in my life. i learn to appreciate them more and realised the importance of my support to them and their support to me in my daily life.No one like to feel that he is alone tackling a problem with no support at all . I hope i can garner more support or feel more support so that i can lead a less stressful life and then NO more growing of white hair at this stage of my life . PS: i feel so paranoid , i only got one strand of white hair and i am making such a big commontion out of it internally .

Wooh finally pass SOC ! Got my passport for 3SGT . I realised something these few days . I look closely at the card my Pri sch teacher gave me before my PSLE . Worry is like a rocking chair it gives you something to do but it won t get you anywhere. Learn to listen to the bird sings and smell the roses. I suddenly realised life isn t that bad for me now . I met failure in army . For example SOC. I struggle to pass it and even feel disappointed and demoralised when i fail to hit the required timing . When i recalled the moment when i gave up half way through the obstacles , it reminded me how weak i really was. I was like virtually dead then . Furthermore being a 'Blur' guy i often am , i feel i don t survive well with my bunk mates as i often drag them down and i have a hard time communicating and going through training with them . But when i met failure i realised actually things aren t that bad. I was just too confident of myself and often assume that i am right and i derseve all the treatment i should get. However i realised i lost an important word in me and the word is HUMBLE. Being humble and modest and the spirte of willing to learn new stuff was what i used to have despite me being blur and slow in learning things. Not sure what factors led me to lose all the important values i have but now i finally see myself more clearly ! This wake up call really hit me hard and wake me up . I feel that i have grown up from the experience i have and hopefully i will become a better person . But i am glad so far i didn t pick up any vice through my army life like smoking and doing illegal stuff. The only thing not so good i may have pick up is my used of vuglar language something when things don t turn out good when i am in army. But then the extend of that is not that serious yet and i dun see myself scolding vuglarities when i am in the civilian world.Things will get better when i go to a new place ! New start and new motivation . First impression last. SO DUN SCREW IT UP! I feel i am a better man now =)